Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
