I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
