How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
