Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
