is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
