Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
