god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
