he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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