The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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