It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
