Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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