I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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