Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
