How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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