what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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