I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
