If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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