omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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