He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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