Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
