Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Randomize
