How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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