Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
