So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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