dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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