Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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