Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
