Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
