I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
