he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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