where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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