I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
