This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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