If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
