why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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