You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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