Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My balls are so social today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
