You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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