I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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