Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
