But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Never underestimate the power of titties
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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