If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
