so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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