Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
