also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
do herpes really smell.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
