p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
