do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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