it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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