After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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