Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
